A Minority within a Minority: Being Gay and Muslim in Amsterdam

Introduction

On The Netherlands Gay Emancipation, Gert Hekma states, “the legal struggle for gay and lesbian rights may have ended, but the much more difficult social battle for queer visibility has yet to begin” (Kane). When we think of the gay visibility in Amsterdam, are gay Muslims included ? The Netherlands International Religion of Freedom Report of 2010 states there are approximately 850,000 Muslims in The Netherlands (Netherlands), and about 80,000 of them are LGBT- Identified (Isjed). There is a growing community of gay Muslims in Amsterdam but with the rise in tension between the Muslim and Dutch community, it seems that the nationalistic idea of Dutch Tolerance isn't so common when it comes to the Muslim people and culture. If tolerance is such a nationalistic Dutch value, I want to understand why there is this strong hatred towards the Muslim community, and how this Anti-Muslim Discourse affects gay Muslims in Dutch gay society. This paper will examine the lack of tolerance in the Dutch community when it comes to Muslims and the experiences of gay Muslims in Amsterdam.

Homosexuality in the Dutch Context

On April 1^st 2001, the Netherlands had become the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage and there was a general sense of gay tolerance throughout the country, it seemed like gay emancipation in the Netherlands had been accomplished. In the past 10 years, the Netherlands has lost its title as the gay capitol of the world, due to the rise of hate violence towards the gay community and the loss of gay visibility. Jan Willem Duyvendak states “Having achieved a relatively favorable position, homosexuals no longer feel the need to maintain a political gay identity and have largely given up the struggle for change” (Viren 13). The Netherlands lost its title as gay capitol of the world because a majority of the Dutch gay community lost its radical activism after the legalizing of same-sex marriage. The invisibility of the Dutch gay community happened because the Dutch took an assimilationist approach; which means after the legalizing of same-sex marriage it opened the door for gay Dutch society to blend into heterosexual Dutch society. This approach caused a great silence for the Dutch gay community, which further evoked the gay community in the Netherlands to be heterosexualized and reduced. Sarah Viren states “When sameness defines a social movement, the potential for difference post-equality is made far more difficult. The depoliticized nature of Dutch homosexuality brings to light the recent debates over stable gay identity as being both repressive and productive” (15). This approach has caused the Dutch gay community to become a community that just settles and turns a blind eye to other gay injustices. I've witnessed this blatant ignorance to issues such as the rise of hate violence towards the gay community in Amsterdam. I have asked University of Amsterdam Dutch gay students what they thought about the rise in gay hate violence; they would tell me “No, it's fine; there are no issues in the gay community”. This blatant unawareness is a problem because it causes these issues in the Dutch gay community to go unaddressed. The biggest issue is that because of this assimilationist approach the Dutch gay community very much lives within the gender binary and is very heteronormative. Unlike the United States, the Netherlands has not embraced queer culture; which pushes for a more liberating, open-minded, gender fluid, and inclusive community. I think there is less activism and gay visibility in Dutch gay culture not because the Dutch gay community doesn't care; it's because the Dutch gay community has assimilated into a heteronormative community in which being an activist or protesting or being visible is unnecessary to begin with.

Tolerance vs. Acceptance

This idea that tolerance in the Netherlands is a nationalistic value that all Dutch citizens uphold is not very true in certain situations. I think it's important to first understand the difference between tolerance and acceptance, I find that many people confuse these two words as the same in Amsterdam. Tolerance is the willingness to tolerate something with opinion that one may not technically agree with it and acceptance means to agree with an idea, belief, or person. If the Netherlands is to be the most open-minded place in the world, maybe they should be striving to be a country of acceptance and not tolerance because with tolerance comes limitations. Gert Hekma states “In 2006, a government commissioned report on the acceptance of gays and lesbians, to which I contributed, was published. In general, up to 95 percent of the Dutch population is said to have no objections to homosexuality. This is the highest score of being gay friendly worldwide” (37). Yes, the Dutch are very tolerant on the topic of homosexuality, but with tolerance comes limitations. Yet when more specific questions are asked, and homosexuality gets “closer,” the percentages drop quickly. As mentioned, 42 percent of the Dutch do not want to see two men kissing in the streets, 31 percent object to two women doing the same, while only eight percent states so about a mixed couple (Hekma 37). From the statistics, we can see that the Dutch tolerance is more on the idea of its okay if you’re gay as long as we can't see it. This type of attitude is why there is a lack of visibility and a strong community. When it comes to tolerance of ethnic and religious minorities in the Netherlands, the tolerance level is much lower. The population of Muslim Moroccans and Turks has increased greatly over the past couple of years in the Netherlands. The Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights, and Labor stated that during their reporting period in 2010 in the Netherlands, there were reports of societal abuses and discrimination based on religious affiliation, belief, and practice (Netherlands). Most of the right-wing politicians in the Netherlands argue that Islam goes against Dutch traditions and social values. Geert Wilders is one of these right wing politicians; he leads the Party of Freedom. Wilders advocates for an anti-immigrant and anti-Muslim platform and he is the most prominent out of right-wing politicians who encourages the Dutch people to be against Muslims. Wilder's made a short film in 2008 called Fitna, in this film Wilder's displays generalizations of all Muslims as terrorists and extremists. The film Fitna also states that Islam encourages violence against women, gay bashing, anti-Semitism, terrorism, and Islamic universalism. Yes, there are some Muslim extremists who are terrorists, but that gives Wilders no right to generalize an entire population of people as evil beings. I also found out that in the film, Wilders misuses several lines of the text in the Qur'an for negative use. I was shocked to find out that this man who had created such a hateful and discriminatory film was a Dutch Politician who was voted in by Dutch people; it really made me see this idea of “Dutch Tolerance” in a different perspective.

Homosexuality in Islamic Religion

Dorrit de Jong and Ivie English state, “What is being gay? What is being Muslim? If you’re a Muslim, you’re a Muslim. You cannot combine the two” (1). This idea that a person can't be openly gay and still keep being a practicing Muslim causes a lot of pressure of feeling like one must negotiate between these two communities. In the Qur'an, which is the central religious text of Islam and the words of Allah, the word 'homosexuality' does not appear but a majority of the Muslim people believes homosexuality is not natural. Although homosexuality does not appear in the Qur'an, it does state that men should satisfy their patriarchal requirement by always having a strong desire for women (Azough, Poelman, Meijer 64). There is no specific ban on homosexual sex in the Qur’an, but there is a ban on anal contact between a man and a women which is often seen as the reason behind the ban on homosexuality. In the story of Sodom and Gomorrah a city and its inhabitants get destroyed by God on account of all of the 'bad deeds' that happened, Muslims usually take the 'bad deed' as meaning homosexuality (Azough, Poelman, Meijer 65). So a lot of times Muslims will use this story of Sodom and Gomorrah as a way to say 'if you commit the sin of homosexuality you will be punished'. Some Muslims believe that it is not possible to be born gay, “you are not born a murderer or a rapist, so you can't be born gay, you become gay or give into those desires” (Azough, Poelman, Meijer 64). It's very interesting to me how this particular Muslim man in Young People, Sex, and Islam states that being gay is on the same level as a murderer or rapist and that it's just a desire you can get over; I found it very interesting how simplified suppressing your sexuality is explained. Some Muslims also see homosexuality as a disease or they sometimes call it “the western disease”, it's the idea that being gay is from the western part of the world and it's only done by western people. Labeling homosexuality as a “western disease” allows Muslim people to disassociate from homosexual people, which cause this idea that Muslim people can't possibly be gay because it's a disease that comes from the west. Omar Nahas is a Muslim author, who published a book called Gay and Muslim- How Do They Go Together ?, the book focuses on faithful Muslims who discover their homosexual feelings and often fear rejection from their relatives and religion and how they can overcome it. Nahas states “ Many homosexual Muslims claim that socio-cultural, as opposed to the teachings of Muhammad, form the greatest obstacle to following their natural inclination” (Azough, Poelman, Meijer 64). This means that Nahas believes the reasoning behind homosexuality being seen as so sinful and serious is because of cultural and not religious factors. There is this strong cultural belief and fear in some Muslims that homosexuality is a learned behavior through a bad childhood, molestation, or negative influences. There is this idea that homosexuality must be learned because Allah would never make someone gay in their eyes when homosexuality is such a sin. Muslim parents usually make the life of their gay child unbearable or they just isolate the child away from the family (Azough, Poelman, Meijer 65). Sex just like homosexuality is very rarely talked about between Muslim parents and children. Since there is such a strong taboo and fear with sex and sexuality within Islam, no one talks about to stay away from touching a very disapproving topic. Also the idea of 'coming out' is a very western practice, that causes a lot of young gay Muslims alienation and problems. Coming out to a your family when your Muslim is what causes the main problem because it can be okay to have gay desires because no one has to know but coming out and actually acting on these desires is what causes the uproar. The idea of coming out tarnishes a family's honour, ostracism, shame, maybe violence and the loss of social contacts(Azough, Poelman, Meijer 69). Some gay Muslims choose to postpone coming out by having a heterosexual marriage or getting married with someone of the opposite sex while still being with someone of the same sex on the side in secret or just stay single so you don't have to choose. It is called leading a double life, someone who enters a heterosexual marriage but still keep contacts to their homosexual side. Some Muslims believe that it is selfish to shame or upset your family by coming out, family and religion do so much for a person, so why would you destroy that work. It's a very different way of looking at coming out, my parents were so happy and supportive for me when I finally came out to them; but I understand I have had a very different cultural experience. Coming out is not the answer for all homosexual people, I strongly believe that you shouldn't deny yourself happiness but there is more than one way to “come out”.

Tariq Ramadan on Islam and Homosexuality

Tariq Ramadan states “European Muslims have the right to express their convictions while at the same time respecting the humanity and rights of individuals” (1). Tariq Ramadan is a well-known author and professor in Islamic Studies, and he is a Sunni Muslim from Switzerland. He is very influential because he is a Muslim man who strongly advocates for the re-interpretation of Islamic texts, studying Islam and the belief that Muslims do not need to accept homosexuality but they can respect it. Ramadan really encourages Muslims to not judge others, only Allah can judge; he believes that as a Muslim person you do not have to be a part of the gay rights movement but you should respect that person as an individual if they do engage in homosexuality (Ramadan 1). It is clear that Ramadan also believes that a person can be Muslim and homosexual because he acknowledges that if a practicing Muslim does engage in homosexuality, no one has the right to drive him or her out of Islam. Ramadan stated “Today we are witnessing an upsurge of unhealthy, ideology-driven movements. To affirm one’s convictions and respect others is no longer sufficient. Muslims are now being called upon to condemn the Quran, and to accept and promote homosexuality to gain entry into the modern world” (1).Ramadan understands that he cannot tell an entire religion what they should believe or that they are wrong, but what he can do is to hopefully inspire more Muslims to respect people who are homosexual no matter their personal feelings. I think it is important to not force the Muslim people to agree with homosexuality, but to at least settle on respect because just like how gay people want to be respected Muslims want the same respect in practicing their own religion. I think Ramadan is a profound scholar because he really works on advocating for gay Muslims who do not have a voice. He strongly believes that the younger generation will help bridge the gap between Islam and homosexuality. When Ramadan was a guest professor at Erasmus University Rotterdam, he really inspired gay Muslim youth from the Netherlands who needed guidance.

Muhsin Hendricks on Islam and Homosexuality
Muhsin Hendricks states "Imams see me as a threat to their worldview and the way they see Islam. I don’t feel they should be threatened. It’s just another view that I would invite them to look at. My view allows queer Muslims to continue being Muslim but also to accept themselves for who they are” (den Tek 1). Muhsin Hendricks is an Imam (religious leader) by profession in South Africa and he is a human rights activist on gender and sexuality in Islam, he is very well known for his bold stance on the idea that homosexuality and religion can exist together peacefully and he is also the first openly gay Imam. Growing up Muhsin new that he was different, he was very feminine and liked playing with dolls over cars, but he was very much into his Muslim faith and homosexual feelings had no place in Islam (den Tek 1). He is one of the rare Muslims who actually question the idea that homosexuality and Islam cannot exist together and he takes his own interpretation of the Qur’an. Hendricks states “Nowhere does the Qur’an state that homosexuality is forbidden. Not even in the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The interpretation that God destroyed the cities because men had sex with one another. he cities’ residents were punished for rape, not for consensual sex between men” (den Tek 1). He is really inspirational for other gay Muslims because he did not give up his faith when he came out, he was able to find an interpretation of his religion that would allow him to be happy and himself. Muhsin has a foundation called The Inner Circle, which is the largest and oldest Muslim human rights organization that focuses on helping Muslims who are struggling to accept their sexuality. Muhsin was in the Netherlands last year because he was invited to speak at the Amsterdam branch of the gay rights organization COC; his visit helped inspire a lot of gay Muslims in Amsterdam.

My Interview with Isjed
On November 19^th 2012 I had an interview with Isjed, a coordinator of Safe Haven at COC Amsterdam. Secret Haven is a support group that helps men and women of multicultural background who have gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender feelings in Amsterdam and the surrounding areas. Safe Haven is a program that is a part of the COC Amsterdam which is the largest and oldest gay rights organization in the Netherlands. Isjed is one of the coordinators for the Safe Haven program so he gives guidance and advice to LGBT people who are in need and he plans events/ meetings for people in the Safe Haven group. The group is especially geared towards LGBT people who identify as Middle Eastern/ Muslim. Safe Haven has been running for about 10 years now and also they help people who are having difficulty in life combating being open about their sexuality and also taking into account their family, culture, or religion. Isjed has worked for Safe Haven at the COC Amsterdam for 2 and a half years now and he also volunteers at the COC Utrecht, where he does sexual education work for youth. Isjed stated that there are about 50- 60 clients that he works within the Safe Haven group, most of the clients are 2^nd or 3^rd generation, Moroccan and Turkish, and they've been having more male clients than female. Safe Haven assists people with self-defense training, HIV/AIDS testing, working on conflicts with family and friends, self acceptance, depression, and coping strategies. There are 8 volunteers that help organize events that are usually on Tuesday nights, when the members of Safe Haven come together for a meal or guest lecturer. For the people who are struggle to come out, Safe Haven believes that there are multiple ways to come out, there is not one right way to come out of the closet, especially for people who are Muslim. Isjed also works as a volunteer at the COC Utrecht, where he works with High School sex education programs and he talks to high school youth about homosexuality and sex. It is really important to Isjed that the youth get the education they need and deserve to get on sex and sexuality. Isjed is actually seeing more and more schools wanting the COC to go do sexual education talks to their students; Isjed thinks that using personal stories in the discussions make the sexual education talks more relatable. Isjed told me that he really likes his job at Safe Haven because he enjoys helping people and getting to see people grow and accept themselves. Safe Haven is becoming very popular for support and good community.

Being Gay and Muslim in Amsterdam

Dorrit de Jong and Ivie English state “Being gay and being Muslim in the Netherlands blurs the boundaries of tolerance for a country that prides itself on being at the forefront of accepting diverse lifestyles. This layered identity positions individuals in a particularly vulnerable space—that of being a minority within a minority, and living a lifestyle that contradicts literal religious teachings” (1). It can be really hard for gay Muslims to find a place to fit in or have a sense of community, especially in the Netherlands with the heightened issue of Islamaphobia and the struggle to find support from in a Muslim community. The intersection of culture/religion and sexuality can cause a lot of confusion and conflict that may make the process of coming out harder. Salim, a Dutch gay man of Islamic descent shares his experience on Muslim gay men in Amsterdam; Salim observes “Being gay and Muslim in Amsterdam usually plays out in one of a few ways. These individuals tend to: (1) renounce their practice of Islam and embrace their identity as being gay; (2) declare that they’re both gay and Muslim, and either continue to practice Islam, or only identify as culturally Muslim; (3) become very orthodox and decide not to be gay, or at least not “practice” being gay; or (4) embrace both gay and Muslim identities, but to conceal the former from the Muslim community, including their own family” (de Jong, English 1). I found it really interesting how Salim categorizes these experiences for gay Muslims, I know that my coming out experience was very simple because I had no religious pressure because I grew up in a very non-religious household. It especially has to be hard coming out when you your religious/cultural identity frowns upon it, Salim states “I think my situation is unusual. I was with one leg in the Dutch community and one in the Muslim community” (de Jong, English 1). Since Salim grew up in Amsterdam, he was surrounded by Dutch friends who were all very tolerant and open-minded about him being gay but then at home was his strict Muslim family, so he really was caught in the middle. Salim came out to his family, his mother accepted him while his father refuses to see him or speak to him since, it’s usually the father of the Muslim family that keeps the child in fear of coming out. Salim does not believe you should have to choose between your faith and your sexuality, he is openly gay and Muslim and has learned to accept it. Some gay Muslims do not get to ever fully come out, some Muslim men and women marry in front of their families and live together, when in reality their both gay (de Jong, English 1).This situation tends to happen a lot because it allows the gay Muslim person to still be gay but in secret while making their family happy and completing their wishes.

The Clash of being Gay and Muslim in the Dutch Context

Omar Nahas states “ I think that the acceptance of the gay movement in the Netherlands, goes sometimes against other acceptances” (Viren 32). Islam has become the burden of Dutch homophobia, there are Muslims who are very homophobic but the Dutch society has generalized an entire group of people as being homophobic. Politicians such as Gert Wilders use an anti-Muslim discourse with his gay agenda, it’s very hypocritical to say one group of people deserve equal rights while another group of people do not. Jan Willem Duyvendak believes that the Dutch gay community needs to be more aware that they are being used by people in power who are anti- Muslim and anti-immigrant to use the idea that backwards Muslims are bringing the forwards thinking Dutch society down (Viren 32). This idea causes a divide between the gay community and the Muslim community because it instills a sense of Islamaphobia within the Dutch gay community; how can the gay and Muslim community ever come together if there is so much hate and fear. Ronald, a white gay Dutch man from Amsterdam states “I dislike the fact that they are so anti-gay, and say bad things about people who have a different sexuality, but I do not let it bother me, because I do not have to see them if I do not want to” (Gage 18). Ronald wants the Muslims to learn the Dutch language and stay out of his way, he finds Muslims to be a threat to the safety and rights of homosexuals. From Theo van der Meer’s research on perpetrators of gay bashing in Holland from 2003, exposes that not all perpetrators of hate violence on the gay community are Muslim or an immigrant. The percentage of gay bashers who were native white Dutch men and immigrants were not highly different. There is this idea that Muslims are the only cause of the recent rise in hate violence towards the gay community in the Netherlands, but the Muslim population cannot be at fault for everything. Also the Muslim faith does not condone violence or hate violence, so when Muslim male youth do enact violence towards the gay community, its more about reasserting ones masculinity than it being cultural or religion.

Resources for Gay Muslims in Amsterdam

In the past 10 years, several organizations in Amsterdam have sprung up to cater to the gay and lesbian Muslim population. Since being gay and Muslim is such a minority within a minority, more people have gotten involved recently in creating places and organizations so gay Muslims can find a community that suits both their needs and so they don’t have to feel so alone. The Secret Garden Foundation in Amsterdam is an organization that focuses on brings together young Muslims who identify as LGBT. Safe Haven is an organization that is a part of the COC Amsterdam that focuses on helping gay Muslims come to terms with their sexuality, and they do counseling and host events. The multicultural Malaica Foundation supports multicultural and immigrant gay youth. Respect to Love is a website that was funded by the Dutch government and it is a website for gay Muslims to meet others, share experiences, learn about others experiences, and to get more information on being gay and Muslim. Also the ‘self proclaimed’ worlds only Arab/ Moroccan gay bar is located in Amsterdam, it’s called Habibi Ana, this allows for more visibility and a safe space in the gay Muslim community. Although there are still issues with awareness and visibility for gay Muslims, Amsterdam has come a long way and provided a lot more resources for this community.

Conclusion

There is not one experience of a gay Muslim, some choose to keep their sexuality a secret, some come out but lose their faith and some choose to make these two identities exist together. It is a struggle to find a sense of community where you can bring both identities together in the Dutch context because of the anti-Muslim discourse in the gay community and the homophobic teachings in Islam. I believe that people like Muhsin Hendricks and Tariq Ramadan are helping Muslims see that homosexuality and Islam really can coexist, but it will not happen immediately. I also hope that eventually the Dutch can find a common ground with Muslims and focus more on having a respect for homosexuality than a full on acceptance. I think the biggest think I learned from my research was the impact of religion on society and individual choices, and how it can divide people. Gay Muslims are definitely in the minority but with more Muslims coming out and speaking up about being a gay Muslim, the visibility and support will only go up.

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